Puns For the ‘Educated Mind’

Again, I feel the need to share something funny from the local publications my family receives from Maine. These are a few of many “puns for the educated mind”.

  • The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • A rubber band pistol was conficated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationary.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudest camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
  • A chicken crossing the road would be poultry in motion.
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Thanks to The Advertiser Democrat of Oxford County, Maine for bringing these wonderful puns to us!


6 responses to “Puns For the ‘Educated Mind’

  1. Allegra, your blog is AWESOME!!!!! I shall definitly post here!How long have you been doing this? Thanks for posting on mine!!(:

  2. Meredith: Thanks for the compliment! I have been blogging since January 19, 2009, to answer your question. I will continue to post on your blog, as well.

  3. I am just rolling on the floor. These puns are AWESOME. I can’t even choose my favorite but two really have me going. The Linoleum Blownapart one and the Seasoned Veteran. Very clever!

  4. Hi! I just would like to say, your picture of Hermione is very cute!

  5. I like the baseball getting bigger – get that mitt up!

  6. I agree with Tater! The baseball one was funny!

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