Jupiter, Take The Chariot

Inspired by the brilliant Aloha, I have written my first-ever song parody! My love of the classics drove me to re-write Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take The Wheel” to better suit my interests. Unfortunately, we can’t all have the raw genius and natural adeptness at lyrical parody that Aloha does, so the rhythm is a bit clunky in places. Either way, behold–“Jupiter, Take The Chariot.”

He was driving around the dusty Circus track

On a sweltering Roman day

Hoping to make up for his many lacks

By winning this one race

Another round to go and he was running low

On energy and speed

This race was getting tough

Dust was getting in his eyes and he couldn’t see

His horses were going astray

Before he knew it he was careening

He wasn’t supposed to go that way

He thought he saw the Furies approaching

Other drivers were encroaching

He was so scared

He threw his hands up in the air

Jupiter, take the chariot

Take it from my hands

‘Cause I can’t win this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me this one chance

Let me live to win this

Jupiter, take the chariot

He came up to the side as he finished his ride

And the chariot came to a stop

He grinned when he saw his opponents

Had all fallen over rocks

And for the first time in a long time

He yelled to the sky to pray

He said thank you for the way

You helped me win this race

I know I must rejoice

So from now on today

Jupiter, take the chariot

Take it from my hands

‘Cause I can’t win this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me this one chance

Let me live to win this

Oh, Jupiter, take the chariot

Oh, I’m letting go

So give me this one chance

Let me live to win this

Let me win this

Jupiter, take the chariot

Oh, take it, take it from me

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2 responses to “Jupiter, Take The Chariot

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